I was recently moved by a memoir that inspired a collection of thoughts that I'd like to share. This memoir chronicled a young woman's spiritual journey as she traversed a set of circumstances that challenged her rather delicate emotional well being. Sometimes there are those circumstances which are so great that even those of us who might consider ourselves genetically hearty when it comes to emotional fortitude, might cave.And then there are those of us that due to our genetic "constitutions" as my Hungarian grandmother use to say, that feel everything- most strikingly, the ever-present fragility of life- but seem to be able to weather it without others noticing that we are walking around without a leg. The question then remains, how do they do it? How do those of us who struggle with the chronic hum of daily anxiety manage life and find pleasure( sans Xanex) just the same?
One of my colleagues suggests that we must pull- in measures to pull -us back into our center, to our core. Whether its talking to a friend so that we may feel loved back, or finishing a paper so that we can feel accomplished or getting quiet in a yoga pose that reminds of our mothers love, or lighting candles to honor Shabbat, or simply taking a nap which allows self care-We need to cultivate an activity that brings us back to ourselves; that reminds of of who we are. For many who struggle with daily anxiety and addictive behaviors and compulsions these activities often feel impossible. Fraught with isolation from years of shame, many have resorted to hardening their hearts to mitigate the blow of their efforts. Self talk in the form of : "Its useless, or I can't do this,... or why bother it will never stop, i cannot help myself and no one can help me" all contributes to the shutting down of possibility. If we can choose activities or measures that pull us back into our center, change will most definitely follow. This I know for sure.
This being the time of year for reflection and gratitude, why not begin by expressing gratitude to those that we hold dear. Find a new reason for feeling gratitude and express it, find a new activity that bring you closer to your authentic self, and express it.......you might be surprise how much better you already begin to feel!
And thank you, I am most grateful to those of you who have taken a moment to read this- feel free to pass it on. Happy Thanksgiving,
Dr. Jo
