Illusory musings….


“Sometimes the illusion is better than the medicine”…Woody Allen

So it’s been a rather leisurely weekend, a lovely time for reading, exercise and reflection. We therapists by occupation and perhaps also by nature tend to reflect relationally; that is always within the context of a relationship or while watching another’s relationship.

I took in one of many films this weekend, one that has remained with me- “You will meet a tall dark stranger,” written and directed by Woody Allen. In the film, Roy, a married novelist nervously awaits the response to his latest manuscript. Roy becomes fixated over Dia, a mysterious woman who catches his gaze through a nearby window. One cannot help think of Hitchcock’s “Rear Window,” when reminded of this storyline. Despite Roy’s repeated attempts to sell his manuscript to an English publishing house, nothing seems to give until Roy’s irrationality and perilous schemes take shape. In the meantime, Roy literally “looks to” his muse across the courtyard for inspiration. He is consumed by Dia’s beauty, his erotic fantasies and the gentle spanish music that floats from her guitar. Her serenade draws Roy’s attention in and he is besotted by her, can think of nothing else. Roy finally arranges a meeting and they lunch at a nearby café. Their relationship develops and Roy announces to his wife that he will be leaving their unfulfilling marriage. Roy’s wife is actually relieved by this news as she too has been unhappy in their marriage. Roy then moves into Dia’s apartment directly opposite his previous apartment where he and his wife lived. He finds great comfort in the arms of Dia and hopes to glean deeper fulfillment and inspiration in life in his new relationship. In what is a classic Woody Allen moment, Roy finds himself distracted by something outside his window. Low and behold, it is his ex wife undressing in her apartment. How ironic??Roy is captivated by the erotic image in front of him-and suddenly realizes that it is his ex wife that he is captivated over! So …the illusion once again becomes stronger than the medicine or the reality of Roy’s new found “happiness.” He can barely keep away from the window and resorts to slowly lowering the shade, albeit painstakingly.....

Ha! So what do I want to say to my dear readers besides to encourage you to pull your shades down!LOL….Are our illusions both of grandeur and promise greater than their actuality? Can we honestly ask ourselves this question? Has the fantasy of your relational expectations surpassed your reality and if so, then what to do? Can you cultivate what it is you want within the context of your relationship(s) as Roy sadly learned after- the- fact? I don’t really have any answers for you, only a gentle nudge to find out/ explore the possibilities that await all of us if we begin to look through a new and different window….